Acceptance

I've finally accepted The Ugly Fact that I failed. Again.

Well, no point feeling sorry for myself now. I must gain all the courage I have left and pull up my stockings.

This post is dedicated to all of you who've helped me through this most difficult moments of my life. My friends and my family =D You all are the best! You know who you are =))) Thanks so much! Without you all, I don't think I could have pulled through. It was definitely one of the worst time of my life. LOVE you all!

Pic taken from DeviantArt =) Credits goes to this person! love this pic! :D
Got clouds! My fav!

Good news is I feel I've returned to my normal self. I actually thought I will never smile again, I will never laugh again, I'll be super serious Amanda until you all won't even recognize who's standing in front of you. >_< yes, that was how horrible the results were to me. Thank God I'm not turning into that person.

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Ok, some random pics that I found in my handphone!

Steph, Carol and Sally. Not exactly candid as you can see =P

That time we just finish our Karaoke session at K-box. Wondering why are they dressed up like that? lol that's because we all just finished playing Badminton and went straight to K-box. Crazy much? Well, exams does that to us. :)

My cousin's baby, Baby Bernita? wah i just realised i dono how to spell her name T_T

my own baby! =D drat this pic cant see her new pretty pink necklace.
"I'm so shy" mewmew blushed as she meowed those words.

She actually look damn annoyed in this pic. I forced her to take pic when she want to sleep. Cos i want to take pic of her in her pretty pink necklace. She refused to look at the camera. Ungrateful baby! Tomorrow no need to eat! *fake angry face at mewmew*


Urm not-so-nice pic of myself in some toilet.

I loved my lashes that day so I actually camwhored with it. -.-" I think it was 175 degree's toilet lol. I don't want to rotate it cos I don't think it's a good pic of me. That way you all won't really see properly how funny i look. :P

aww.. cute rite? I think it was some doodle on some seating place at Bukit Aup. So obvious this pic super old already. I think it was taken in 2007/2008 cos that was the last time I went to Bukit Aup.

lol I think Diana ask me to take this pic cos of the words 'Super Chien'

Oh look at those pretty lights! Huge popcorn symbolises the MBO cinemas. :)

Okies, no more pics. Luckily. Cos it's getting late. Time for bed! Nite nite all!

Breakdown

I don't think I will update my blog that often anymore until my coming semester's finals are over.

It's time to get serious. This time, i mean it.

I have enough of myself. Enough of failure. Enough of feeling the aftermath of failure. ENOUGH!

So as much as I love writing here, I have to decrease updating my blog.

The failure this time, is the final straw. I am truly disappointed in myself. Words cannot even describe how sad and angry I am at myself at this moment.

Worrywart

Worries
( Not in sequence of level of worriness - all of these are something that I'm highly worried about)

1. Worried that I won't pass all my modules.

2. Worried that even though I can complete all the driving lessons but I can't sit for the Driving test by JPJ cos I need to go back to Kuching by March 7. T_T So most probably I will take the Driving Test in April during my mid-sem break. By then, I'm very much afraid that I will forget how to drive already -sigh-

3. I haven't tried driving Manual at all so far. Fear that I can't reach the pedals, my feet not strong enough/unable to control the Clutch/Accelerator.

4. Worried whether I can go to Australia or not.

5. Extremely worried about my results.

6. Worried about my future since my results in Uni isn't exactly GREAT but entirely the opposite instead.

7. Worried I will get bored with Accounting when I work as an accountant in future. (yeah yeah i know chartered accountant high salary blah blah blah, i'm fully aware of that.)

8. Worried how am I going to study in Australia with my health problems. -sigh- nevertheless, i really, really want to go to Australia too =/

9. Worried whether I can get through all my subjects in this coming semester. It'll be a whole lot harder.

10. SOSOSO worried about FIS results and other results as well *scared like what* (yea i know i wrote this already but nevermind, i want to write it again cos for now this is what I'm MOST worried about)

11. Can I just not look at my result slip?!?!?! T____T

12. Worried whether selecting Finance as my minor is yet another one of my biggest regrets in my life.

Well, that's the end of my list so far. I actually thought I got 5 worries only but as i started to list them out only i realised that there's actually more than i thought =_=

Okie in order to make this post less depressing, let's play a little imagination game yea. :)

[Diana a.k.a. Deh Nah, in case you're very stress in your exams, you can play this game for fun! :D I'm so kind right, create a game for you to play....? OK la, it's a pretty lame game but just play lah.. HEHE! others can play also if you're as 'chiak pa eng'(too free)/too bored as I am. ]

what can you spot among these clouds? =)

Ready to imagine?? ok,start! scroll down only when you're ready yea? :)

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-end- Here's my guess! look at the circled icon. :D

Lookies!! It's a cute little poodle's head. teehehe.. =D

Oh-oh here's another one, well this pic la, I tried to take the "poodle's head" again but the clouds moved a bit already so looks a bit different.

uncircled pic, give you time to imagine first. =P Don't scroll down yet. just focus on the pic above.

Circled!

It kinda looks like Jughead from Archie's Comics. Jughead without his crown and with very curly looking hair, hehe.. XD He's also probably imagining that clouds are burgers or something. Got the sunlight effect also ok?? :D :D :D Drat, imagining the clouds like this makes me miss reading Archie Comics, =.=|||

OK. Obviously I'm a tad bit bored so even got time to create lame games like this >_<

Ok, don't know what else to blog already. Byes now!

Clare, Clarey, Clare~~ *sings in a musical tone*

Hello Clarey!

Happy 22nd Birthday!!

Ok, honestly, I edited this pic quite a long time ago out of fun + boredom and i added something more to it. lol. I can't remember if I've shown it to you yet tho. Hope you like the lashes i gave you in the pic! =P It's my best work, yet. -perasan- I actually tried to give myself eyelashes too and I look all weird! T_T You on the other hand, look lovely with it. =D

Hmmm... well, you're now in Singapore, working. Wow, times really flies. Few years back you were on the road to become a nurse. And now, YOU are one! Anyways, I hope you're doing well in Singapore. I won't expect you to get attached to the lifestyle in SG that fast though. So just take things slowly. I know you can do it! I've always think of you as an independent person. I remember when you were in Secondary School, you always walk to school. (It's a big deal for me cos I actually thought that walking from your house to the school is rather tiring. ok-ok, obviously i need more exercise back then. *sniffles* ) Then when your parents are out of town, you took care of your bro and yourself well. And hey, you even went shopping alone in KL. That my dear is rather brave if I must say so. I don't think I'll ever dare to go out on my own in KL.

Now that I have Xiu Xiu, I can play with pictures more.. And it's a good way to beautify this B-day Post for you. :)) So this time, I'll let the pictures do most of the talking for this special B-day post k? :D

our last pic we took together :D

You and your dear =P

I tried to find better background than this but xiuxiu also need the internet T_T I cant online with my laptop. Can't install xiuxiu to my dad's laptop either cos xiuxiu contains virus *sigh*
I hope you like this one tho.

Ok well since the pic above isn't very clear, I'll upload another one. =) I know you've seen it before but i think it still looks better than the pic above. tee hee!


I really want to edit the more recent pic of you and him together but I can't =( Cos I need to study for my ever so boring KPP Test that I will be having tomorrow. -sigh- as usual, I'm studying at the last minute T_T Got 500 Questions to try some more -.- I'll edit it next time k?

Okie Clarey.. I think i've come to the end of this post. May you have a great and wonderful celebration for your Birthday this year.. Sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you.. I just realised I hardly celebrated your Birthday with you =/ awww.... *sad* I really hope you have a great time though. You're in a new place, so maybe your birthday will be celebrated a bit differently? If not, it doesn't matter either cos I'm sure what matters most is that you spend it with someone who is ever so special to you! *grins*

Take care Clarey!! Miss you lots lots lots!!

Hugs & Love from your BFF ,

Amanda

22

---edited--- (can't believe i forgot to write a thank you note the last time T_T)

I'm officially 22 now! =D/=S Hmmmm... I'm not sure which smiley should I put.. Cos um.. wah 22.. dah tua.. >_<>< i mean there's good and bad for being older also right?? :D

Alright I actually wanted to write this blog post on my Birthday but I was too exhausted to do so. Today I'm actually ALSO very sleepy but I think I don't wanna delay anymore. In case I get even lazier to blog. Holidays can make people lazy. -sigh-

Okies.. I MUST talk about the b-day surprise plans Steph made for me and Mau.

Birthday Cake for Me and Mau =D *bought by Steph* Looks good and taste superb too!

Steph told me she want to surprise Mau for her Birthday, so on 30th December 2009 ( we had to put the dates forward cos Mau Mau goin back to her Uni on the 1st of Jan 2010), Then Steph told Mau that we were going to celebrate MY birthday too. lol. So in a way Steph wasn't lying cos that Birthday Celebration was for both Me and Mau XD Mau treat us for dinner that night. Thanks SOOO much,Mau!! I wish I could do the same for you =/

Me and Mau Mau with our B-day cake, heehehe!

Me and MauMau cutting the cake :D

This is me blowing out the candles on one side of the cake! lol. the other side was for Mau!:D

this is the only pic that got steph inside =/ aww we should have taken a group photo.. *the excitement made us forgot to do so*

Next are my gifts this year. I combine them all in one pic cos I think with my internet line, it'll take time to upload the pics. My interests change over time so Steph and my other friends knew what to get for me.. aww.. shows how much they pay attention to what I like... They're sooo sweet! *hugs*

*excited* ( I changed the colour of the pic a bit. so it's kinda purplish. =X Purple is a happy colour for me! )

The cosmetic bag which I thought was a handbag at first :S

Rimmel London Mineral Powder (Tried it,works naturally on the skin! :D ), Majolica Majorca Mascara! (LOVE IT!! =D Can't find this brand in Sarawak so Steph went to KL to buy it for me..awww.....) - I'll show you how it really looks like in the next picture, Three Shades Blusher - Rimmel London ( eeps! the colours are so amazing!), Majolica Majorca's LipGloss ( Haven't got the chance to try it yet cos I'm still using my own one >_<) andddd... IN2IT black eyeliner with glitter that I got from Chai Yung! ( Of cos I love it too!)

I super, super LOVE the shape of this Mascara.. reminds me of the um.... what's that thing called. (Pod? Pond?) that can be found on Chess. :D

Ok now I'm going to show you all the lovely card they got me. LOL. it's funny too. XD

the 'outside' of the card

the 'inside' of the card

They know I always sleep very "early" the morning XD

Anyways, on my actual B-day, I went out with Steph. It was rather simple but I had fun hanging out with her :D We went to Delta Mall then to Medan Mall. Walked around a little and then had lunch at Uncle Dom's. Hehe.. Urm the food there are not very nice ><>_<) Ok, I need to go take a nap now. I'm getting neck pain all of a sudden.

Wait before I go, I want to Thank every single one of you who gave me such a wonderful B-day this year!!! LOVE YOU ALL LOTS!! THANKS SOOO... MUCH! *HUGS HUGS HUGS*

Unrelated Note: Results out in a few weeks T_T I'm terrified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

two-o-one-o

Resolutions for 2010

1. Learn how to drive
2. Teach myself how to love accounting -seems highly impossible but I will try not to hate it
3. Not to go to lousy New Year Eve's Party this year. Last year's one was horrendous! Awful singing and lame entertainment -The organiser got someone to dress up as Tarzan & Jane and Oh gosh just thinking about it makes me feel queasy. argh! And no, I didnt take any pictures of them cos it's not worth the space in my camera phone. I'm so glad I didn't stay till midnight! I couldn't stand the extremely awful entertainment that I had to go and stand outside on my own. Yes, that is how horrible it was. No, I will NOT say that at least the organiser tried to make it more entertaining cos seriously, it WASN'T. Food was oh so YUCK! (I'm not being picky. Trust me, the food was the worst food I've EVER tasted and the worst part of it all is that it costs my dad RM500, wth! [ok this one not really a resolution but oh well, it's a resolution to me. hehe.]
4. Learn how to use my make up properly - learn how to use eyeshadow.
   
5. Pray More, Play Less
6. Try to have slimmer hips
7. Train Roxy and Max how to sit, shake hand, stay and stand.

Roxy & Max
-with their puppy dog eyes aww x)

For now these are all of it. I can't seem to think of any more at the moment. :S

Oh more pictures coming later. I'm too lazy to upload them also. lol. I want to play Farmville! :S I'm addicted to another facebook game T_T see what boredom does to a person *sighs*